Nothing's Black & White

What do we know about why crimes are committed?

Today my little brother, who has been in prison for 10 years, gets his freedom. 

Personally I think he paid too much for his crimes, but that's a policy conversation for another day. 

Because of my bias, I wanted to get another perspective - from a robbery victim's point of view. 

A childhood friend, coincidentally, was the victim of a crime (similar to my brother's offenses) when we were in high school nearly 20 years ago. 

I decided to interview my friend - a father & educator - via email, since I have never asked him about the details of the robbery. Somewhat surprisingly, it turned into a conversation about healing & race.

Names have been changed & edited for time. 


Tampa Do-Gooder: What it was like to be robbed?  

Friend: The surreal thing about being robbed was how calm I was during the robbery. I took a grim pride in that later. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself - I should set the scene, first. 

My brother, myself and a friend went to Wawa for snacks. Unfortunately, we finished shopping at different times and I came out to the car before they did. 

Little did I know that we were being watched the entire time. Maybe if we had all left the store at the same time and taken off together, none of this would have happened. 

Anyway, one of the robbers knocked on my window and asked something inaudible. I rolled down the window and he jammed something inside, pointed at my crotch. In horror, they stuck around while my brother and his friend eventually made their way back to the car. 

All in all, they probably didn't get more than $20 from the three of us.

After they had taken our stuff, they hung around for a while and I remember the guy with his arm in the car hesitated for a while, maybe wondering if he should actually pull the trigger or not. 

My First Book(store) Tour

Who needs to publish a book in order to embark on a four city book(store) tour? Not me!

I didn't get to stop into all of my favorites, but I sure did fit a bunch into one week. And I even had a fan to greet me.

Very Happ(ening)y December

My first blog post via iPhone as I wait for my flight from PHL to SEA, so excuse any format weirdness.

As I embark on the final phase of my DC/Philadelphia/Seattle trip, I can't believe that I even attempted to pack all this into a one week.

But my MO wasn't the travel itself, rather I'm on a post-divorce mission to check in with many of my long lost girlfriends. People who remind me of (what for sometime seemed like) my misplaced awesomeness.

I often complain about my closest friends being dispersed around the country, but that's what you get when you make a habit of moving every few years.

I'm incredibly fortunate to have made & kept a close girlfriend or two in each place I've inhabited. I'm also looking forward to next week when I'm back home in Tampa, where I have many amazing ladies I'm in need of catching up with too.

St. Pete!

Even though I've only ever briefly entertained the idea of becoming a St. Petersburger, I am very thankful for this oasis of urban Florida walkability.

Home to lots of ethnic and veggie restaurants, beaucoup music venues and dive bars, the Poynter & soon-to-be Tampa Bay Times and waterfront views.

w/ fellow WMNF'er Ryan Iacovacci

I can't go into a coffee shop there without running into someone I know.

The Palladium Theater's Paul Wilborn with local out & abouter Khalid Hameed. 

30 Days of Thanks

Some friends are posting their appreciation for life's little things in their Facebook status updates throughout this month.

I've decided to do the same here, using as many videos and photos I can come up with since this month will be a little hectic for me - two jobs, grad school, traveling - all of which I'll be writing about soon.

But for now, my very humble gratitude.

Day 1: I am thankful first and foremost for my friends. I wouldn't have a life without them, certainly no quality of life. My instinct has been to run away & bury my head when times are tough. Now I've opened up and invited them in. They've taught me how to be a better person, and to treat myself better, too.

Day 2: I'm truly thankful for all the men in my life, from my friends' husbands and brothers to my ex's, in/significant others, flings and other undefinable things. I'm generally a 'fraidy cat when it comes to establishing  meaningful connections, especially with the hairier sex.

But I remind myself that I've never been intentionally harmed or abused by any male in my life now, and that the pleasure of being acquainted with these very thoughtful, dear men is mine. While stories of the horrendous actions of men exist from my city to the Congo, I'm thankful to my man friends for giving their gender a good name.

Day 3: My iPhone! I'm an anticonsumer who rarely buys new stuff, but I needed a digital camera and a better phone. Additionally, it gave me the ability to put insomnia to good use: reading, browsing the web, bonding via text, talk and photos with friends in different time zones. Plus, there's the inHouse app.

Sample Houseisms:

"Belief implies a level of giving a crap that I am never gonna achieve."

"There's no way a do-gooder like you isn't volunteering all over town, ladling kittens, spaying soup."

Day 4 is easy: Though I am thankful to be employed, I am more thankful that it's Friday.

Ode to October II

Can't do this with a Kindle

 Neighborhood Girl (approximately 13 years of age) and I share a penchant for pumpkin carving.

We got together to create art, bake & eat seeds, and get a culture lesson (Tim McGraw okay; Josh Ritter better).

Happy Jack & Andy Rooney. (Guess which one is mine.)

Ode to October

Brainy cupcakes

I've always loved October.

It's the season of pumpkins, zombies and first kisses backlit by a bonfire. 

I ♥ nerds: Jenn & Mike's bookish cake topper

Two of my wonderful and book-loving friends (Jenn the speed reader and Amy the librarian/dedicated blog reader), must think October is as romantic as I do. 

They're both getting married this Halloween (party) weekend. 

 Autumn in Florida is hardly an ending. Around here it seems more like the beginning.

Life & Bolts: The Journey, Not the Destination

I like to be in the middle

I was a huge hockey fan in junior high school, growing up outside of Philly. 

I admired Manon Rhéaume and wanted to be the first woman in the NHL. Though I realized by the time I was 16, since I still didn't know how to skate, I should face reality and aim for a more viable career (like first woman head writer for SNL or queen of all noncommercial media).  

The Legion of Doom visit Sears Portrait Studio

Me and Lisa & my awesome polenta

Clark Brooks & I prep for the Game 7

I moved to Tampa the year after the Lightning won their only Stanley Cup, and it was pretty exciting to be back in a sports town again after many years of being NHL-free in the states of Delaware and Washington. 


Seems a little counterintuitive (like ice skating in Tampa in January), but we Tampans love our hockey, even when the home team is 1,400 miles away.