Monday Morning Commute

Recently I hemmed and hawed about buying a car. Ultimately I decided I'd be less stressed if I went without.  

I was already a fan of pounding the pavement. I like the exercise, but also, when you're not whizzing through downtown, you can see what it's really like. 

This seat is so much preferable to sitting in traffic. 

Don't Fear Twitter! (It's Fun!)

I'm a great fan of Twitter as a communications tool. Even though I've been active on it for a couple of years, I still haven't learned all its fancy uses. Of course the best way to learn is by doing. 

This weekend I did a rare (for me) live tweet, that is, I went to an event (in this case, a book discussion by Meika Loe), and took notes via Twitter. 

The great thing about technology is that one brilliant idea is built upon by another. There's a website called Storify where you can piece your (and other people's) tweets into a story. My Storify-ed version of Meika Loe's lecture is below. Enjoy!

Fragile but Beautiful Life

Contemplative.

Not very long ago I broke a decade+ long cycle of chronic depression. 

On my "best" days, my high and low moods changed faster than the front-runner for the 2012 GOP nomination. 

Most days though, I walked around in a daze wondering what life was for.    

Stuff I like. 

          It took a couple of years of regular therapy before I accepted the fact that my behavior was not normal. As in unhealthy. 

Though life is not easy, there are ways to make it less difficult. 

   

Fake bike. Real happy. 

Seek them out. Ask for help. 

Mental health can be fragile, and common problems easy to ignore: addiction, PTSD, anxiety and more. The consequences of wasted time and life are far too expensive.

They can't be resolved by the passage of time or a winning football game or more love from Mom. 

Still, they can be healed. 

Life Sans Cocoon

This Sunday at 2 p.m. Inkwood Books is hosting a discussion with Professor Meika Loe, a sociologist and author of the 2011 book Aging Our Way: Lessons for Living from 85 and Beyond.

“If nothing else," Meika said, "these elder stories defy what you expect from the very old.” 

One of the stories is about three widowed friends who live on their own. The ladies check in with each other every morning by phone to make sure all is well. On at least one occasion, one of the three didn't answer her phone. When the others went to see why, they found her on the floor.

We're a society that doesn't "think intergenerationally," Meika told earlier this week over the phone. She's 38 and the mother of a four-year-old, and said she was interested in the topic of aging because she "had great relationships with my grandparents, and have watched them struggle with aging without their spouses."

She says the more we know about these modern elders, who live longer and healthier than previous generations, the more we can prepare and help. And we all have to learn how to do this better because the 85+ set is the fastest growing age group in the U.S.

Not to mention it'll help us help ourselves if we’re fortunate enough to reach that age. Here's a few questions I asked Meika, edited for brevity.

Tampa Do-Gooder: What grade would America receive for our efforts to take care of our elders? 

Meika Loe: That's a tough question. We have Medicare and Medicaid in place to help, but beyond that it’s an informal crew of caregivers. It’s extremely expensive to have in-home care and aging in place. We have a ways to go. 

I’d give between a B-C. In my book, the elders are filling in their own gaps. And so are local nonprofits, county centers, etc. I’d also ask, ‘how are we caring for our communities in general?' This question isn’t always age specific. For example, are there sidewalks for strollers?

TDG: How are elders treated in other countries?

ML: In Brugge, Belgium certain cafés have colored flags specifically for people with dementia, so they don’t have to be watched all the time. It’s a community working together to respond, instead of investing in surveillance devices, they’re enabling the wandering.

We have a very age-segregated society here. Maybe not so much in Florida, but here in New York, it’s pretty rare [to see the frail elderly out at a café].

TDG: What feedback have you gotten from your students? 

ML: They’ve really enjoyed it. I’m teaching a class called “Sociology of the Life Course” and this is the first class to read the book. Part of the assignment is to connect with a local elder and do a life history interview. The students are juniors and seniors. They’re finding similarities in their own lives. Like, “Wow, now I have a sense that football is just one chapter in my life.” Or they’re taking their families for granted less.

There's a great interview with Meika on Access Minnesota, and you can check out her blog here.

Purist

10 years ago I was a senior in college, focused on videography and writing. I was thrilled, finally getting to be good at something, and sharing ideas that I thought mattered.

Though I sometimes regret not having gone to school in a bigger city, the smallness of my adopted home in Dover, Delaware allowed for great networking. I joined the Delaware State Writer's Group, which helped me practice my craft and meet other writers. 

One of these writers was Julianna Baggott, a poet, who had just published her first novel. It was, as a beloved Delawarian would later say, “A big f’n deal.”

In need of a subject for my senior thesis, I asked Julianna for a day of her life and she agreed. I followed her and her family for a day or two and produced the 13-minute video A Day in the Life of Julianna Baggott.

Throughout the year she invited me to other events and I helped bring her to my own college for a lecture. Right before her talk, I was informed that since she was my friend, I had to introduce her. It was my first foray into public speaking and I was insanely nervous. (I haven’t shut up in front of large groups since.)

Just before I left school, I was in a park in Dover. Preparing to move away and worried about my future, I watched a father and son play ball and wondered what their lives were like. My own nuclear family had imploded my last couple of years in school, so whenever I saw a seemingly happy family I was envious, mournful. I called Julianna and told her I wanted to write a short story about them. Her advice was not to gloss them over, rather, look for the dirt under their fingernails. I took her advice, and although I never did write that short story, I did end up in journalism for a while. 

Seven or eight years ago we both moved to Florida. Julianna & family moved to Tallahassee, where she is now an associate professor. Today is a big milestone for her, the release of Pure, her post-apocalyptic novel. 

In the decade since I've been stringing together a freelance career, she's been writing away, novels and kids books and young adult fiction. She tries and fails and doesn't give up. I'm proud of her. She's been an excellent role model for this anxious writer. 

2011 (Prison) Reading List

Last year I compiled the list of books I sent to my incarcerated younger brother. 

I liked Pelzer's healing attitude and his inspiring ability to move forward.

Having not spent a lot of time with him as an adult (he went in at 21 while I was living on the West Coast), it's great watching his literary tastes develop. 

All Ned Vizzini's books should be required reading for young men who've ever identified with Pearl Jam songs.

I send him several a month, or as many as I can afford. He's become quite the voracious reader. 

I tutored a high school freshman for a couple of months and delved into YA fiction for the first time in my own life. So many beautiful books, my whole world opened up, too.

When I started sporadically sending my brother books a few years ago, I had yet to become an avid reader/savvy county library employee.

I sent only a handful of do-gooder books & mags I was familiar with: To Kill A Mockingbird, Utne Reader and Yes! Magazine. 

This pick was inspired by a story I did for WMNF on USF's children's mental health research conference

Sadly my bro told me early on that he preferred Cosmo & Country Weekly, and was bored by anything journalism related. 

Sorry Mr. French, I tried.

Take another little piece of my heart now darling. 

The only book I've been able to find on the topic of reentry.With millions of imprisoned Americans, you'd think the free market would be teeming with this stuff. 

It reminded me of us as kids, when we'd play school. I'd lock him in my room until he finished the homework I assigned. (Yes, I feel very guilty about being one of the reasons he's locked away now.) 

And its sequel The Sea of Monsters

I'm happy to report that my pedagogic skills have dramatically improved since I was 8.  

And its sequel. He ate them up! Finally I succeeded in my effort to make him like journalism, or at least know its struggles.

Now I want to be sure he's engaged and entertained by what I send. He needs an escape as well as an education. 

And as always, many thanks to Inkwood Books for accommodating my need to do something in a situation where I otherwise have no power. 

Few other stores are willing to ship books out for me, as required by the FL department of corrections.

He La was my pick of the year, yet I can't believe he liked it! My bro said he paced himself to stop from reading too quickly because he enjoyed it so much.

I'd like to give him & Rebecca Skloot a big ole hug now. After nine long years away, 2012 will be the last (prison) reading list I'll have to compose. Let's hope & pray for no encore.

Cook's Kitchen

Sally Nichols (née Cook) & husband have owned Cook's Kitchen in South Tampa for the past 18 months. 

Originally from the UK, Sally previously cooked for Prince Andrew and Fergie. 

 I won't make any Weight Watchers jokes, other than mentioning I ate half my weight in brie and cream and sticky toffee pudding. 

The sun never sets on sticky toffee pudding.

It's nice to enjoy the best part of travel (i.e. food) without leaving the comfort of a Florida winter.