Don't Fear Twitter! (It's Fun!)

I'm a great fan of Twitter as a communications tool. Even though I've been active on it for a couple of years, I still haven't learned all its fancy uses. Of course the best way to learn is by doing. 

This weekend I did a rare (for me) live tweet, that is, I went to an event (in this case, a book discussion by Meika Loe), and took notes via Twitter. 

The great thing about technology is that one brilliant idea is built upon by another. There's a website called Storify where you can piece your (and other people's) tweets into a story. My Storify-ed version of Meika Loe's lecture is below. Enjoy!

Life Sans Cocoon

This Sunday at 2 p.m. Inkwood Books is hosting a discussion with Professor Meika Loe, a sociologist and author of the 2011 book Aging Our Way: Lessons for Living from 85 and Beyond.

“If nothing else," Meika said, "these elder stories defy what you expect from the very old.” 

One of the stories is about three widowed friends who live on their own. The ladies check in with each other every morning by phone to make sure all is well. On at least one occasion, one of the three didn't answer her phone. When the others went to see why, they found her on the floor.

We're a society that doesn't "think intergenerationally," Meika told earlier this week over the phone. She's 38 and the mother of a four-year-old, and said she was interested in the topic of aging because she "had great relationships with my grandparents, and have watched them struggle with aging without their spouses."

She says the more we know about these modern elders, who live longer and healthier than previous generations, the more we can prepare and help. And we all have to learn how to do this better because the 85+ set is the fastest growing age group in the U.S.

Not to mention it'll help us help ourselves if we’re fortunate enough to reach that age. Here's a few questions I asked Meika, edited for brevity.

Tampa Do-Gooder: What grade would America receive for our efforts to take care of our elders? 

Meika Loe: That's a tough question. We have Medicare and Medicaid in place to help, but beyond that it’s an informal crew of caregivers. It’s extremely expensive to have in-home care and aging in place. We have a ways to go. 

I’d give between a B-C. In my book, the elders are filling in their own gaps. And so are local nonprofits, county centers, etc. I’d also ask, ‘how are we caring for our communities in general?' This question isn’t always age specific. For example, are there sidewalks for strollers?

TDG: How are elders treated in other countries?

ML: In Brugge, Belgium certain cafés have colored flags specifically for people with dementia, so they don’t have to be watched all the time. It’s a community working together to respond, instead of investing in surveillance devices, they’re enabling the wandering.

We have a very age-segregated society here. Maybe not so much in Florida, but here in New York, it’s pretty rare [to see the frail elderly out at a café].

TDG: What feedback have you gotten from your students? 

ML: They’ve really enjoyed it. I’m teaching a class called “Sociology of the Life Course” and this is the first class to read the book. Part of the assignment is to connect with a local elder and do a life history interview. The students are juniors and seniors. They’re finding similarities in their own lives. Like, “Wow, now I have a sense that football is just one chapter in my life.” Or they’re taking their families for granted less.

There's a great interview with Meika on Access Minnesota, and you can check out her blog here.

Apple of My Eye: November is National Caregivers Month

This past summer every other gal I know was glowing and pregnant, eyes focused to the future with tiny, new lives. Meanwhile, I felt as if I had taken a few steps backwards.

I got divorced and was starting over, beginning with needing a place to live. I had nothing to my name, except maybe my overpriced B.A. degree and the certified nursing assistant (CNA) license I got several years ago at the start of the recession when I needed a job.

When I spotted a Craigslist ad for a live-in caregiver to a 91-year-old British lady who resides close to my day job, I jumped on the opportunity.

I liked Apple immediately. We were introduced over tea by her daughter Colette. Both Apple and I were being uncharacteristically reserved, so Colette steered the conversation. She apologized when it fell onto British TV shows for several minutes, fearing I'd been left out.

But I wasn’t. To show my interest I mentioned that I was a huge Hugh Grant fan. 

The 91-year-old smiled broadly and replied, "Who isn't?!"

This would not be the last time we shared a grin over our mutual appreciation of British reprobate hotties. (We watch House together weekly.) 



The irony that is Tampa Do-Gooder, if you hadn’t already noticed, is that I'm no different than any other well-meaning person who occasionally does the right thing. I have heart and good intentions, but following through with challenging tasks, especially long-term ones, is pretty darn tough.

The fact of the matter remains that I came to work as a CNA & caregiver out of humbling desperation. I would not do this for anyone in my own family. It’s physically & emotionally draining, long hours, and I think about quitting every day. 

Part of the challenge is that as I take care of someone else's needs, I feel like I’m missing out on rebuilding my own life. I’ve always been impatient though. Hanging out with a healthy 91-year-old every day, however, is a constant reminder that I’ve got time (and if I don’t, what could I do about it anyway?). It’s a good lesson in balance for this impatient fool who rushes into and through everything. I might get a lot done, but I often don’t know how to enjoy the moment I’m in.

I loved Apple a day into our weekend trial run. Sharp as a tack, witty and blunt, she reads the paper daily and vehemently defends the young president of her adopted country. She occasionally puts up with my C-SPAN habit and I cook something or study when she puts on Chris Wallace.

Having lost both of my grandmothers during college, Apple is my bonus granny. And I am especially grateful that my presence is among the reasons she doesn’t have to think about trading her house in for facility living. For now, we're both safe and flourishing at home.