#FridayReads: Committed

As an impoverished writer, I'm the last person I buy books for (though they're my favorite presents to give).

But on my recent vacation I spent more on books, for myself and others, than on food. Don't let my waistline fool ya, I'm kind of a pig.

Because my travels were as much about break-up recovery as reconnecting with old friends, one of the books I bought for myself & devoured in flight was Elizabeth Gilbert's Committed.

To quell her own marriage fears, the author researched the history of marriage, and explored its place in Western society as well as other cultures, like the Vietnamese Hmong.

Liz asked and answered her own questions about the multi-millennial-old institution: Why do we humans have it, why do we still need and want it? Did the Christian Right invent it?

Most people I know do not have good relationship role models from their youths or in their lives now. How else are we to learn the right way to be happily married?

I think Committed is a great guide for those of us who may be scared but haven't given up, and want a manual for next time.

I found both flying solo & bad marriages to be lonely, so this sequel to Eat, Pray, Love helped with my journey(s).

Committed is a fine map for getting back on the horse. Even if you never had a horse, or had one a long time ago but forgot where you parked it.

Very Happ(ening)y December

My first blog post via iPhone as I wait for my flight from PHL to SEA, so excuse any format weirdness.

As I embark on the final phase of my DC/Philadelphia/Seattle trip, I can't believe that I even attempted to pack all this into a one week.

But my MO wasn't the travel itself, rather I'm on a post-divorce mission to check in with many of my long lost girlfriends. People who remind me of (what for sometime seemed like) my misplaced awesomeness.

I often complain about my closest friends being dispersed around the country, but that's what you get when you make a habit of moving every few years.

I'm incredibly fortunate to have made & kept a close girlfriend or two in each place I've inhabited. I'm also looking forward to next week when I'm back home in Tampa, where I have many amazing ladies I'm in need of catching up with too.

Ode to October

Brainy cupcakes

I've always loved October.

It's the season of pumpkins, zombies and first kisses backlit by a bonfire. 

I ♥ nerds: Jenn & Mike's bookish cake topper

Two of my wonderful and book-loving friends (Jenn the speed reader and Amy the librarian/dedicated blog reader), must think October is as romantic as I do. 

They're both getting married this Halloween (party) weekend. 

 Autumn in Florida is hardly an ending. Around here it seems more like the beginning.

Divorce Crazy

@Caitlinconstan's Sasha has better things to do

My friend Jenn, also a relatively recent & young divorcée, has a term she calls divorce crazy. 

The definition is self explanatory. And she was smart enough to foresee it before it occurred, so she planned for it.

It's poignant for me because in a marriage that didn't work, I found that my biggest enemy was not the partner who didn't fit me but my own wacky self.

Jenn is the queen of serial monogamy. I've always known her to be in a very long-term relationship. Or in long-term periods-of-abstaining-from-long-term-relationships. She's my model for the ideal mentally healthy & balanced person, which I fail up against time and again.
 
From a recent im chat:

Jennifer:  Ok....you need to be celibate for at LEAST the next six months for real!
me:  omg what if i die! (not from, you know, but like get hit by a bus?)
Jennifer:  What if you totally get your stuff together and work out all your issues? And go on to a happier healthier life??
me:  Right. I guess that would be fun too.
Jennifer:  LOL

Thus far I've made my divorce crazy work for me. One of the first things I did when I felt like I had my life back was contact every friend I had dropped or drifted away from, including a few ex's. 

Not in that wacky High Fidelity tell-me-what's-wrong-with-me kind of way. (I know that much about myself by now.) More like when-we-agreed-to-be-friends-I-meant-it-now-let's-get-beers-and-not-make-out.  

It's nice to be reminded that just because a romantic partnership didn't work out doesn't mean a friendship can't bloom. Something special still exists in that person who initially drew you close.